Telling Dad-To-Be

people-2942966_1280

In many cases this is an exciting time in your relationship, and the words flow from your mouth before your thoughts have a chance to catch up…“we’re having a baby.” Have any four words said together (besides, “will you marry me?”) ever sounded so sweet?

However, we live in the real world, and happily ever after is not always the case…

There are times where mum-to-be discovers the news after a break up, and/or when dad-to-be is adamant he doesn’t want baby-to-be AT ALL.

For those of you experiencing the latter, my heart goes out to you. It’s difficult enough dealing with the physical and hormonal changes going on within yourself, but negative external vibes sent your way adds a whole new layer of tough times ahead.

Never forget that you didn’t get yourself into this situation alone. Before the big reveal, it’s important that you build resilience, a thicker skin to shield yourself against the negative reaction that may be coming your way.

Firstly, take time to process the news for yourself. Only you know how you feel about the two lines that unexpectedly showed up on your pee stick, or in the blood work your doctor ordered just to be on the safe side. Whilst there may be mixed emotions, fear of your partners (or ex partners) reaction may top the list, process these feelings before you add external influences to the mix.

Even if it takes you a few days to come to terms with the fact, you are entitled to sit on the news until you are ready to share. Once you’re thinking clearly, and know what you want to do about the situation, then consider how you plan to tell dad-to-be. Don’t over think it, you don’t need the added stress or to come up with a reason to keep putting the conversation off.

In less than a year you are going to be a mum, and a little human is going to be completely dependant on you. Now is the time to start being realistic. The time when your choices become the voice for two. Some parts of the journey you’re embarking upon can be made up along the way, and other parts you will certain about from the get go. Embrace your decisions with confidence.

No one knows you better than you do. No one knows how you feel, or what is going through your thoughts, except for you. No matter what his reaction is, believe in yourself and your choices because they resonate and reflect what is important to you. And, you are important!

Remember, if dad-to-be suffers a hissy fit, the hissy fit is his problem! You have more important things to focus on…like growing a healthy little human.

Take care of you, and be strong. You’ve got this.

Renee Snow ❄️

Advertisements

Two Lines

The anticipation of waiting for lines to appear on a pee stick allows enough time for every emotion between excitement and dread to kick in…

OMG! What if it’s positive? OMG! It’s going to be negative. How on earth am I going to tell my partner? What are my parents going to say? What will everyone think? How do I tell the kids when they’re old enough to have children of their own? How much alcohol did I drink last week? There’s no way I’m going to fit in those cute jeans I just bought when winter kicks in. Will I ever fit into those cute jeans I just bought? I’ve never worn them.

Sound familiar? The barrage of questions and freak out moments will vary from one person to the next. It’s amazing how many thoughts a woman is capable of internalising in just a few minutes. 

And, when the result is issued, no matter how many lines appear, the barrage of questions will undoubtedly begin again, unless shock kicks in and your mind goes blank for self-preservation against overload.

“Two lines means positive…”

When the doctor starts talking about the supplements you’re required to take, foods best to avoid, upcoming tests you need to have, and decisions you need to make, you manage to listen, take note, and process information beyond the cute jeans you may never get to wear…and all for the teeny tiny pea sized being growing inside of you. 

For the rest of the day the questions will flow like water from a tap…are you smiling, panicking, or sobbing into tissues…or perhaps all three…

We all experience the moment in different ways, none of which are right or wrong. Just remember to be kind to yourself.

Renee Snow ❄️